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Comedy

1. Nigerian movie self, how can
we be seeing ghost, but the
people in the film are not seeing
it...
But wait oo...are we dead too? #Mtcheeew.

2. My neighbour was singing "You
are grace, you are grace,
everything reading about you
disgrace"
I corrected her, then she said to
me, "A wise is a word for the...no...enough is a word..." That
was when I fainted 10×

3. Slim girls with big head be
looking like standing fan.... #Abi_ I_Lie??

4. The only reason why I don't
feel like getting married now is
that everyone will now know
that I've started having SEX
including my MOM and its making
me to feel Shy

5. Guys with big eyes will cheat
on you and still have the nerves
to say " Baby please I am sorry, I
was blind".

6. #Palz! If I pour curry on a door, can I call it Corridor?? #Wisdom will not kill me

7. Umbrella is for slim girls.
The fat ones should be using
canopy Dnt just argue with me jooor!

8. Nigerian parents can never
apologize, they will just come
back and act nice. They be like
"Chika! Come and check this clothe
maybe it will size you"

9. Some girls will brag that they
can cook...
Until you tell them to cook beans,
the pot will look like where beans
are having a pool party

10. She paid you a visit and drank
6 bottles of beer & 1 full bottle of
dry gin without getting drunk....
My brother, offer her kolanut & 4
white fowls coz you are dating
your Ancestors

11. People can be so wicked
ehhh...!!!
How can you say short people can
hear ancestors gossiping
underground..

12. Short girls are cute until it
time to say Goodnight...
Then she hugs your leg

13. It's only in Nigeria you will
hear someone boast of their level
of insanity...
You will hear something lyk "I
dey mad oo ask people"

14. So somebody cannot leave a
church groupchat again?
Try leaving and a sister will just
inbox you like "Bro Kas, why've
you left the Lord"??

15. Dating an Edo girl is just like
dating the Chief Priest of a village
shrine... You will have to appease
the gods if you want to quit.
Lemmi run before they break my
head with bread

16. You have 10 shirts, 8 is adieu
mama.
So if somebody did not die, you
won't buy shirt abi

17. You did blood money and you
are still stingy.
Blood that is not even your own
Where's that Fried Thunder??

18. I just read the story of a man
who sold his kidney to sponsor
his daughter's education, at the
end the girl committed suicide
because of her boyfriend.
May the land of the dead reject her spirit.

19. Don't rush into a new
relationship after breakup... Wait
for at least 10-15minutes.

20. She will be more attracted to
you when you get her an iPhone. Ladies have been attracted to
Apple since the garden of Eden!

21. A guy went for an interview
at a big IT company today for the
position of a "Computer
Hacker".The boss asked him, "So, what makes you suitable for this
job?""Well," he replied, "I hacked
into your computer and invited
myself to this interview!"

22. Public disgrace is when you
see your boyfriend in a market dancing shakushaku to win
indomie face cap promo

23. Anambra girls will not kill me.
Which one is "Happy Matriculation
dear, age with grace"

24. Instead of killing for money
rituals
Just catch a snake and train it
very well.... then send it to jamb
office.....
Voom... 2019 is your Year

25. People are just so wicked sha,
imagine selling fake rat poison in
this economic recession Don't be a victim, taste it before
buying... The original one is salty

26. If you're happy with one
girlfriend, imagine having 10?
Happiness weee just kill you die
27. Do you realize that when
you're madly in love, even insults
sounds like birthday wishes?

28. You will be praying for your
sugar daddy to remember you,
his wife will be praying for him to
forget you You people are just confusing the
innocent man's soul

29. Life is very funny: When
Government finds minerals in
your yard, the minerals belong to
the government, but when the
same government finds
marijuana in your yard then it belongs to you..

30. How can you say the reason
why short people are
unemployed is because they can't
see job opportunities

31. Not everyone who checks up
on you actually Cares..some want
to confirm if their witchcraft
worked. .

32. Staying alone at home is so
cool
Until the bathroom door opens by
itself

33. In Nigeria, If you want to buy
roasted corn, and you didn't cross
a gutter or they are not selling it
near a gutter and a road, don't
buy!
That's not the original Nigerian roasted corn . Gutter is part of the ingredients
and crossing it is part of the
spices.
Buying suya is at night. If you buy
in the afternoon, its
barbeque....Suya is sold at night. Aboki sells original suya.
If you want to buy sugarcane and
it's not inside wheel
barrow....don't buy it, it's not
approved by Nafdac
Everything is inside the constitution..

34. Igbo mother be like:
Chinwe chinwe oooooo...!!
Lower that music.. I wanto taste
this soup

35. Why do some girls think it's
cool to remove a guy's cap from
his head and playfully run around
with it...? If I remove your wig from your head and playfully
run around with it, would you still
find it funny? #Mtcheeeew!!

Creat by
Joshua Adefarakan: comedian

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